DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR. AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. FOR PERSONAL REPLIES PLEASE INCLUDE A STAMPED, SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old. I have been with this guy who has been driving a truck for almost three years. We have little problems now and then. If he doesn't like something about me, he wants me to change yet he always tells me he is not going to change, anything about himself for nobody. And I do have a problem with some things that he does.

I have been going to my mom's friend's house and a guy there likes me. We got hooked up. We talked on the phone and we've been intimate with each other.

My original boyfriend has a lot going for him. He is couple years older than I am. He has a house, car, truck and everything. We talked about getting married and even having kids. I really like the guy on the side but I don't trust him one bit. He travels back and forth and I think he has other girls because he always has text messages in his phone from other girls talking about how much they love him. Whenever I confront him, it's always a bunch of excuses.

He also has little things going on for him but that is in Jamaica. He has money but that doesn't matter a bit because I work and go to school. I don't depend on either one for anything.

I am really in love with my boyfriend but because he is always away, at times I get lonely and go to the guy on the side who lives close by to me where we will have sex. I am really confused. Can you help?

N., H., New York, U.S.A.

Dear N. H.,

I can only discourage you from having two men in your life. I suspect that you are trying to find excuses for wanting to be with the guy who is living next door. You say you love the guy who told you that he is not going to change. Very often men say they wouldn't change but they don't always mean it. As I see it, the relationship you are having with the guy on the side is purely sexual and you suspect that he has other girls. Why then make yourself another one of his girls? Be smart. End this relationship; if you don't your boyfriend will find out. And things may just get messy.

Pastor