Dear Pastor,

I am in love with my childhood boyfriend. My feelings for him are very unusual. I have never felt this way about anyone else. We have been dating for at least five years and right now it's like something is really going wrong. I was only 13 when we started dating. I am now 18 years old and he is 20. I know it sounds a bit strange, but it's the truth. At that time he was about 15 years old. We were always friends and it didn't matter what happened because we were always there for each other.

Anyway, I migrated to America about a year after we started dating. It wasn't a problem to me as to what he was doing while I was away. It was about a year ago he migrated to America, and funny enough, at the same place where I am now living. It's really strange to me because while we were together back in Jamaica it was never an issue that I was dating another person, but now it is. I can't seem to understand what the problem is.

He always talked about me having his kids and I really want to. He is the first person I have ever loved and the only one in fact. Even when we fuss at each other it's like I'm losing the most important thing in my life.

I wish I could understand the real concept of this entire situation. I know that it is love and not infatuation, no matter what anyone wants to say. But that's just how I feel. So, tell me please pastor, what to do, because I really don't want to take the chance of losing the only person that I've ever loved. I've never seen him in this manner before. Even lately when I call him, he just stays there and won't say anything. He doesn't even call me that much anymore and I hate things being like that.

V.T., Florida, U.S.A.

Dear V.T.,

Why is it you are so slow? When this guy and you first started to go out and to talk, you were just kids. It didn't bother him if you talked to other guys and went out with them. But now, both of you are adults and the relationship between both of you is tighter. Therefore, he does not expect you to be running here and there with other guys as if to say nothing is wrong because you are not having sex with them.

The man doesn't like it and if you love him, you will stop the nonsense. He wants a woman who would show him respect and he believes that by your action, you are not being respectful. It is one thing to say that you love someone but if you really love, you should show it. You should not just do your own thing and expect the one you say you love to accept whatever you do.

So, have a long talk with this man and tell him that you do not mean to hurt him. So, you are going to behave as if both of you are starting the relationship all over.

Pastor