Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem that has been consuming me these days. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and he has been in jail since February. He got arrested when our relationship started to become something good. We started off badly. While we were together, he got a girl pregnant and he already had children from a previous relationship. I forgave him and now I'm not able to see him at all. He is planning to get married to me when he comes out of prison.

At the same time, my cousin introduced me to a friend of his and ever since we met, he is trying to get me to have sex with him. I hang out with him but I never gave into him. Now, he claims that he has strong feelings for me and he would do anything in the world for me. He even said that he wants to buy me a car but he insist that we have to be together first.

He has a girlfriend and I am assuming that he doesn't want to leave her. That is one of the reasons why I am not going to sleep with him. I'm not going to allow him to lower my self-esteem or put a price on my body.

He, however, insists that we have a relationship. I live in the U.S. and he lives in Jamaica. What do you think I should do?

M.R., U.S.A.

Dear M.R.,

In the first place the man who is in prison is only trying to use you. While you were together, he went out and impregnated another woman. Now he is only trying to hold you by promising to marry you. What assurance do you have that he would not keep other women after he has served his time? Absolutely none! And by the way, why is he in prison?

Sometimes when people are in prison, they make grand promises but the promises are empty. When they are out, they either repeat the crime or depend on their girlfriends to support them. Occasionally, some are reformed and would never do anything to return to prison. It is a big risk for any woman to marry a man who has lived in prison and has not been converted. Some prisoners experience spiritual transformation and as a result live an exemplary life after they have served their time. Others become hardened criminals. I have only said the above to warn you to be careful.

Concerning the guy with whom you hang out sometimes, he has his woman and he is only interested in getting under your skirt. He is not a good social friend. Stop going out with him. He will bring you much sorrow.

Pastor