Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey a long time Sylvester Stallone a push some rock hard muscle, but since dem hol im wid groat armone Dung Hunder tings look rocky pan him.

Many a young lad of the late 1970s and early 1980s got introduced to the idea of having muscles, biceps that bulge, thighs that thunder, pectorals that protrude, from Sylvester Stallone. Well, maybe not exactly from him personally, but certainly in his big-screen personae of Rocky and Rambo.

In the former he was a slow talking, hat-wearing boxer who pummelled slabs of beef; in the latter he was a slow talking, tiehead wearing soldier who made men into sides of beef. In both cases he had muscles. Not just any old muscles either, but some things that tensed when he hoisted Hulk Hogan and jerked as he licked shot against the Vietnamese.

The boys said 'wow' and started doing push-ups and walking like their hands were keeping malice with their sides, way out there like muscle could be made out of bone.

But lo and behold, more than two decades later (and a Rocky return to the ring at 60), the source of, if not all then certainly a lot, of the muscle has been revealed. As THE STAR said yesterday, actor Sylvester Stallone was formally convicted yesterday of importing restricted muscle-building hormones into Australia and ordered to pay more than $9,870 in fines and court costs. The Rocky and Rambo star had failed to show he had a valid prescription for vials of human growth hormone that were in his luggage when he arrived for a promotional tour in February. Stallone also had failed to declare the male hormone testosterone on a customs entry form, although he had a valid prescription. A customs search of Stallone's luggage during a February 16 visit to Sydney revealed 48 vials of the human growth hormone product, Jintropin.

Human growth hormone? HGH? The thing that they disqualify athletes from competition for?

Nah man, the world is not level at all. Here is a man setting the muscle standard for boys the world over (along with another slow talker, Mr. 'I'll Be Back' Schwar-zenegger. Is there a reason why the two of them speak like a combination of PJ Patterson and Renato DeCordova Valentino Adams?), having them pumping and sweating away, thinking that if they really work at it they can be rocky in the right places. And lo and behold, when story come to bump, the example they were following had a serious head start in the race to the muscle finish line.

And the hottest thing is that Mister 'hey drew first blood' will not be facing any serious consequences for his actions. The money that he has been fined is nothing to him, Jackass is sure. He is not into competitions, so he can't be disqualified and banned like Justin Gatlin.

Hmm. Maybe one day he will get a permanent disqualification, like Florence Griffiths-Joyner.

Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey when yute an yute a look pan hexample fram man pon television dem mus meba sey Rasta call it 'tell-lie-vision'.