Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, and I find your advice to be very helpful. I am a 27-year-old Jamaican male living in America. I am an intelligent young man. In fact, I already have a bachelor's degree and I am currently studying at a well known graduate/professional school. My problem is that I tend to fall in love rather quickly. Whenever I break up with a girl, I tend to find someone else and forget about my past love very quickly and also completely.

Pastor, is this normal behaviour? Why don't I seem to hold on to 'past memories' for long? Does this make me a bad person? Please give me the usual best advice, because with my current girlfriend, I want to love her and always remember her.

D.H., Washington, U.S.A.

Dear D.H.,

You find it easy to forget about relationships that you have had because such relationships were not genuine. True love is rather lasting. People often mix infatuation with genuine love. If you are truly in love with your present girlfriend, you will want it to last.

Qualities to look for

You claim to be an intelligent young man. Have you ever asked yourself what are the qualities you are looking for in a woman? That is something you have to be sure about. It will help you not to make mistakes. Always remember that there is no perfect woman. Everyone has faults. You have to struggle with your faults, but perhaps you do not see yourself as someone who has faults. Always remember that in a relationship, it takes time for a couple to know each other. When two people are in love, they try their best to resolve issues. They are not quick to give up each other.

Pastor