Dear Pastor,

I have an issue. I met a guy late last year and we have been going out since. However, he would only send me text messages and say meet him at a certain place (usually public places). We would only kiss which is great, but no sexual intimacy. I grew to like this guy very much to the point where I think of him everyday. I think the reason why I like him so much is because I have known him so long and he has never pressured me about having sex with him, which other guys would have done. He also claims to be a Christian. The major problem is that he told me he likes me a lot, but he does not express it. He doesn't call me frequently, and when I call him, he sometimes doesn't answer his phone.

Whenever I go out with someone else and he sees us, he would seem upset with me. He sometimes goes out with other females whom he claims are his friends. Then he would try and give me advice about being too friendly etc. I don't know if he likes me because he is not expressing himself to me. I like him a lot, but I don't want to express that feeling to him and seem too needy or to seem like I am running him down. I have dated other guys, but it has not helped me to stop thinking of him.

Help me, please.

K.B., St. Andrew, Jamaica

Dear K.B.,

You say that this guy and you have kissed. I don't believe that you mean he kisses you on your cheeks. When lovers kiss it is to express affection. Would he have kissed you if he didn't like you? He is always meeting you in a public place. Perhaps he is trying to protect both of you and to avoid his emotions from running wild. As a Christian he might be trying to be careful.

On the other hand, if he is dating other girls, he is not sure whether he would want you to be his wife. He is still looking around. The question is why does he get upset when you go out with other men? You should ask him. If he wants you to stop going out on dates with other men, he should also stop going on dates with other women.

I suggest that you tell him that you are quite willing to stop if he is willing to give you the assurance that you are his girl and his only girl and that both of you would have a future together. If he cannot give you that assurance, feel free to date others.

Pastor