Dear Pastor,

I am hoping that you will give me some guidance in regards to a problem I am having with my boyfriend. We have been together almost a year. I love him dearly. However, I am considering ending our relationship because our sex life is practically non-existence. I am not turned on by him and have no desire to get intimate with him. We have discussed this problem several times, but he seems to think it is not important to address these issues. He claims that none of his ex-girlfriends have ever complained. I told him that they didn't have enough nerves to tell him, and whatever praises they were giving him was only to boost his ego.

No communication

I have always thought that I am a great communicator and I have never had any problems getting my point across in any relationship before. When I told him that I need more foreplay and romance, he thought that I was being "too mushy". His idea of good sex is to climb on top of me whenever the mood strikes him, and I am supposed to be ready. We don't kiss or do anything other than sex. I am so bored with him that I have thought of having an affair to get what I desire sexually.

Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

J.B., Canada

Dear J.B.,

You claim that you love this man dearly. That is wonderful because the love you have for him has prevented you from going to another man to satisfy your sexual desires. This man believes that he is doing his best and that you have 'white liver'. May I suggest, therefore, that both of you go to see a family counsellor and speak freely and openly about the problem.

I hope that the love you have for each other will grow stronger and that both of you will get married to each other.

Pastor