From Left: file photos: Vybz Kartel, Jah Cure, Elephant Man, Deva Bratt, Teflon

Portmore, mi too Western Union, last week, ah three times mi go and each time, mi just head straight uptown fi go shopping. And mi nah talk about some ordinary brand; ah pure unusual brand mi buy, Eddie Bauer, APO jeans, Armani, ah de so my ting de. Wah happen to some a dem gal roun ere who a wear $100 blouse from wholesale downtown? Right yah now mi ave mi owna AA. Portmore, wah Sharlene say? Suss time!

ELE BIRTHDAY MIX UP

Tamara, step aside now, Soshana come fi tek over. Portmore, Ele go pon the mike at him birthday splash this week and big up Soshana straight. Mi know say Tamara supposed to dead when she hear that, but mi nuh know wha kinda hold Soshana have pon Ele, but him caan lef har. The one Richie Feelings nu easy at all, him go pon the mike and warn all of Ele baby mothers and girls dem inna the dance not to pepperspray dem one another. WHOI!

WHO DID HOT AH ELE PARTY

Anyway, ah nuff good looking people did deh a di dance, but the outstanding ones were Beenie, inna one red and black outfit, Joe the Boss, inna full white, Nitty Kutchie did hot, Action K did sort herself out, Party Claude did hot out, Lucky British did a bling. Ele did hot too, but him wear too much fake rhinestones. And Big A did a go hard too. Candiece did look slightly chunky but still sexy inna her pink and blue. Big up money spenders like Oney British and Dozer who did inna the place.

POOCHIE AND THE SPACE ALIEN HAIR SPOIL

Jeezam Christ! Why Poochie do her hair so like space alien? Is attention she seeking or what? All mi can say is it not working, that caan bring back yuh fame, that can only make dem waan hire yuh as an extra fi act the alien scene dem inna Star Wars. Yu need fi sort out yuh ting, it nuh pretty at all.

KARTEL WINS SOCA AWARD

Wah dem a go say now about the Teacha? See it deh, him win big international soca award for combination song wid Machel Montano, and some corporate company nuh stop fly in fi talk to him about endorsements and ting. Portmore ah ask when yuh a go duh some Grammy material fi get dat pon yuh collection now.

LION CUB ROARS AGAIN

What a way Lion Cub just step back into the game wicked wid him song, Across the Ocean, mi hear it a play pon the radio this week. The song hard, it a guh hard; right now, Lion Cub dem 'sicka' yuh wit dis one yah.

DEVA BRAT DEFENDS A 'BUNDLE A GAL'

Never mind yaah Tasha from Havendale, ah yuh a the wife. Since Deva start roll wid the Empire, ah bag a gal start feature him ends, that's why him do the song, Bundle a Gal, 'cause the girls dem want up him body, and him career ah tek off. Wah day ya, ah Uptown Mondays, a endorse a Bundle a Gal so the ting a connect. Tasha, ah yuh a di wife, never mind the gal dem inna bundle.

QUESTION TIME

❒ Portmore, Toya get her road licence now, so people head a go hurt dem! Wah dem a go say when dem see her wid the Maxima key weh the White Gadd (Joe the Boss) ah go buy her?

❒ What Teflon a wait pon fi run the place? Triple B ah defend him career now.

❒ Which artiste keep callin' dem so call husband an him nah ansa? Which artiste call de ex-man fe sey she sarry, an him tell har fi chuck off? Which artiste come up wid de rent all by harself dis month? ANSA!

❒ How Natalie from Downsound lose so much weight and start look hotter?

❒ How Jah Cure ting so quiet? Him just lost inna the business right now, even though the Sticky song look like is a hit, people nah really feel it. Tings sticky pon Cure right now.

❒ Which artiste guh car dealer and nuh one nuh want to deal wit dem because of previous criminal record?

❒ Why dem nuh bring back the yellow nightie weh dem borrow from 19 how long? Baby Spice say so and she need her tings.

❒ How so much artiste ah flock to the Gunman riddim? Mi hear the Queen Ifrica and the Lion Cub ah lead pon the riddim, but the Gyptian weh record this week coulda shot round dem.

❒ Queen Z, mek a give u a 411. Mi see yu inna one jeans capri, a white top and a white slippers, weh stop wear from the 1980s, outta Ele birthday party. Yuh need fi tek a page outta Soshana book and dress hot. Yuh nuh memba say yuh is a a up deh people, yuh nuh local.

❒ How dem so lie ah spread rumour say Keiva ah get married?

❒ How Eyes a Bleed just flop so from 'Dean' dead?

❒ Which show ah go sell off, Heroes Reggae Fest with Tarrus Riley and Queen Ifrica, or Curefest?

Condolences

To Nicky Vassel and her family who lost their grandmother Deloris 'Nen' Vassell recently, my prayer goes out to yuh and family. And hope every ting goes well wit di funeral today. Mr Lennox a know yuh will lend a shoulder. Also Mr. Patrick Vassell, I know you are hurt but the Lord knows best. God bless and keep praying.

BIG UPS

Big up Cutty Corn and him song Lucky Day that a shot all over the place. Big up Tarrus Riley and his mother who is a nurse, she raise him good. Big up Patriot, yu tune dem a go hard, and yu manager Angela Burke. Big up Bounty Killer whose tune, Nutten Nuh Change de pon Stampede Street Vibes chart, ah him first hit inna three years. Bullleeett! Big up Akil from Kingston 6 Records who ah pilot G Maffiah and Khristopher career, yuh large. Belated birthday shoutout to Tedlah who is in Jamaica at the moment. This is coming from your wife Aisha who loves you dearly.

Email: Sharlenesussu@gmail.com