Barbee, (File photos)
Anthony B, Lutan Fyah , Ricardo Fuller, Queen Ifrica during her performance at Tru Juice Rebel Salute 2007 in St. ELizabeth on Saturday, January 13 ;Mavado
Last week, mi a walk the Portmore Mall fi go over mi nail technician at Hats Off, and mi hear two gal ah chat me say the Portmore Suss girl fi get a box inna her face 'cause she love fass wid people. Why oonu ah pree me so, and mi mek oonu laugh every week? Mi neva know say ah so Portmore people dark and fool-fool like de ones dem a town. Anyway, mi nah stop talk dem tings 'cause mi no fraida nobody, ah me name Sharlene ... SUSS time!
BARBEE STRETCH MARKS NEED HELP
Lawks, mi frighten when me go up close and personal and see Barbee stretch marks dem last week! Dem come in like snake a crawl pon her skin. Why she insist on wearing dem skimpy clothes and she nu look right? Me nah tell no lie, she have a great body, and after yu ex spend so much money on you, you might as well did try convince him fi spend a little more pon laser surgery and get rid of the stretch mark dem so obvious. Dem a send out a big SOS, she need help, people. Still, it come in ah she a lead, 'cause is like Beenie's kids is going to have a new stepmother, and Angel ah go bun up inside. ANSO!
WHERE IS SPICE'S BABY?
Talking about stretch marks, where is Spice's baby? Mi no hear gunfire about the yute weh Spice supposed to have a foreign. Is wah? She nuh ready fi show the world, or she a wait pon newspaper and TV bid fi show the baby like Angel? WHOI! If me laugh, mi dead.
LUTAN FYAH AND ANTHONY
B FI MAKE PEACE?
Mi see Lutan Fyah ah campaign pon HYPE TV wid him new video, St. Jago De La Vega, and mi see him drop pon RE again this week, the man ah go hard in the streets, but people ah wonda, as a hortical rasta man, if him nah go make peace with Anthony B, Capleton and Luciano dem. Ah just one Selassie, so why the rasta dem caan unite? A wat, everybody want to run Zion, from 'gangsta' to badman from town? Yes, memba 'a dat yuh sey'.
ANGEL AND CHILD SUPPORT
Wah tek some a dem woman ya, doan? Angel really living in a dream, ah so much money she really want fi child support, and she all a try embarrass Beenie Man using the Mafia House website, and put up song about child support. Angel ah try hard but it still nah happen fi har. She was a specially featured guest at the Reggae Twins Fashion and Style party at the Club Carib in New Rochelle, NY, over the weekend, but it never so great, crowd deh deh fi the fashions, but nobody was impressed by her performance.
DIFFERENT PLACE SAME FREAK
Wah dis mi ere in Portmore, Altimaxx Nightclub relocating from La Roose to Inez Bogues hotel and right now, a pure mad tings ah gwaan over deh, freaky night every day of the week. Dem a try bring a Caesar's ting come a Portmore. It look like di Strip nah go good again.
DANIELLE GONE BACK TO FULLER?
The whole of uptown and round town is asking if Danielle of Beat It fame is going back to the big time baller Ricardo Fuller. Mi hear say she gone to England. Her publicists say she is doing a number of photo shoots, interviews with magazines; after that, she heads to Chicago where she will record a song with a rock group. But a little birdie told us that she might be hooking up again with her long-time boyfriend footballer Fuller. Who knows, him might just pop the question this time. What yu tink?
IFRICA HOT YA NOW
Tony Rebel must be very proud how Queen Ifrica just buss outta the pack wid Below the Waist. The song go number one and connect clean clean, and now she ready fi tek on the industry fi the Christmas. She shoot the Don't Bleach video inna Tivoli and it come in like the whole community come out fi see har. Mr. B never even did a shout after the camera crew like how him normally do, ah just peace and love pon the set. Everybody love the queen. Jamaican people dem love her. Right now, it look like she is the female artiste of the year. Derrick Morgan must proud of him daughter.
NIKKI Z AND MAVADO BREAK-UP?
What is this we hearing on the grapevine? Some people ah laugh say the barber get robbed, but since the incident with Mavado inna the T-dot, bigger tings ah gwaan, 'cause everybody ah talk say Nikki Z lef the 'gangsta for life' because she no inna the dem living, and she is a strong black woman and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Mi a wonder if the gangsta can find another sweet empress like the Z again, especially since him like squeeze up the tings dem like the trigger of him .... A guess him can, cuz him ting a gwaan good.
❒ Where is Nanko? How him just drop offa the face of the Earth so?
❒ Where is Predator? Where is Alozade?
❒ Will they be changing the judges and the host for Rising Stars next year? No disrespect, but since dem vote off Lenya and Inga, the interest level no really high.
❒ Young man, since you claim to be UPT, why you go trace off the female security guard down Negril over ATI weekend?
❒ Who do Pearnel Charles' hair? Why the black part look so lean? The black and white no middle. Him need fi go hairdresser fi sort it out.
❒ Ah true say I-Maroon plan fi buy a car like how him song, Mi Salt gone number one? Him betta mek sure the papers dem right, 'cause yuh know how him salt already.
❒ Vegas, how come you release album and nobody a Jamaica nuh know 'bout it?
❒ How the gal dem a mad over Thriller Kid so?
❒ How much money does Angel want for maintenance for herself and Marco Dean? Mi hear say is hundreds and hundreds of thousands per month. What a prekeh?
❒ Who ah Marco Dean new stepfather?
❒ Ah true say Junior Pinchers and him manager Rachel intimately involved? People ah talk all sort of tings and Pinchers nuh too like what a gwaan, but maybe ah just rumours. Mi love how she a pilot the career though; the yute look like him a go buss, Portmore and Spanish Town love him.
Big up Richie Spice, who originally come from Bridgeport, shot a video, Anno Me Dat this week fi him song on Flava riddim. Big up Dallas who ah pilot the new Cash Money mix on the street. Big up G Maffiah, the Energise medley with Bounty Killer, Idonia, Sizzla and Mavado shoot earlier this week, Smokey from Garrison Films direct it. Big up Freak Face Peter and the whole entourage. Big up Bonez, Black Panther big son who come fi tek on the music business as an artiste/manager/ producer. He is a triple threat. Look out fi him one-drop; Marlon ah handle him bookings. Big up X-ale group, unnu ting look like it ago sell off dis ere. A wat, unnu get new management? Big up Keisha and her son Armani (Pow), mi frend dem fi life. A glimspe yuh and yuh hot friends pon a DVD wit BET award show, a suh yuh large. Mr. Delano Lennox, a realise yuh naah lef Portmore, a wat, tell mi nuh. Ms. Vassel yuh got it keep him comin' back fah more.