Dear Pastor,

I've been with my child's father for three years. We have an eight-month-old daughter. We met in St. Mary and hit it off from there. Seeing that I wasn't in a relationship before him, we started talking until we became intimate. I was living in town but he said I should drop everything and come live with him, so I did. Everything was going on fine until about eight months in the relationship. I could not talk to anyone (and I had a lot of family there). If I stayed long at the shop or anywhere, he would get upset. He destroyed my phone, took the SIM card and called everyone on it. He told them off, so my family all "wrote me off".

Eventually, everything I did he would beat me. He beat me so badly that I got a lot of stitches even in my face. He always embarrasses me in front of everyone. We go to the river to bath daily and if anyone stops to talk to me or calls to me, it will be war. The bathroom was outside and if at nights I go to the bathroom and stay long, he would accuse me of having a man or being with a man. I got pregnant by him and he kicked and beat me during my pregnancy. He said he wasn't the father of this child because he can't "breed" anybody. He beat me until I ran away and came back home.

I had the child and it's a girl. He said his family members had mostly boys so my daughter wasn't his. He got a job in town. I am still kind to him, but he's still the same. He stays with me because he has no family in town. When he gets paid, he doesn't give me a dollar. He rapes me often and now I just don't know what to do because I still love him and I don't want to show him unkindness. While he was in the country nothing was going on for him, but I can't stand him.

What can I do?

N.S., St. Catherine, Jamaica

N.S.,

I am amazed that you have allowed this crazy man to beat and cut you and humiliate you. From the very first day he hit you, you should have left him.

You are dealing with a man who is out of his mind, and you should not be still sleeping with him. Are you not afraid that he will kill you? Slam your door on him. He is a beast.

Pastor