Dear Pastor,

I am a young adult female and I am torn between two men. I have been in a relationship with one for years and the other has been a good friend with whom I once wanted a relationship and realised that I still want that with him. Both, I met at the same time and chose between the two. I can't stop thinking of this friend, even though we haven't had any intimacy between us. I fantasise about him a lot, even when I am with my current partner. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially myself. Sometimes I think I am with the one I'm with because I almost feel obligated to stay in the relationship because I do care for him and do not want to hurt him.

At the same time, I don't know if this friend still has an interest in me as I do in him, which he pledged to me a while back. My heart is breaking because I am confused and I wonder if it will lead me astray as I feel it did in the past. My heart aches more when I think about this friend than when I am in the presence of my partner. I sometimes wonder if I should make my friend know how I feel or just forget what I am feeling and try to move on with my partner. I don't want to make any decisions without consulting someone first and so I am looking toward you for some help.

S.L., St. Andrew, Jamaica

Dear S.L.,

Not everything you want, you will get. Your present partner has not done you any wrong. I suggest you remain with him and put this other man behind you.

Pastor