Dear Pastor

I think my child's mother is having an affair. It all started 12 weeks ago when she left for a party and told me she would be staying at a friend's house.

The following day I called the friend whose house she should have been at and the friend told me that it was the first she was hearing about that.

When I confronted her about this she said that she went to another friend's house and I was the one who made the mistake. She wanted to know why I was checking up on her.

Shame

Pastor, what I would like to ask you is this: should I follow her the next time she is going out or should I take her word for it? I know in the past I cheated on her, but I was sorry and promised not to do it again. I love her, but if she cheats on me I don't think I could live with the shame as people are already talking about us.

R. W., St. Andrew, Jamaica

Dear R. W.,

Spying on your girlfriend wouldn't help the situation. Right now she may or may not be cheating on you. But you know you are not stupid, you know that you did not get the name of the friend she told you she was staying mixed up. I believe she is lying.

She went somewhere that she did not want you to know. However, don't waste your money trying to spy on her. If you believe that she can't be trusted, bring an end to the relationship, but please support your child.

Always bear in mind that when a woman begins to stay out and not speaking the truth about where she is staying, something 'fishy' may be going on.

Pastor