Dear Pastor,

I am a 15-year-old girl having sex problems. It started when I was 12. I started having great urges for sex. I now do it 5 times a day, even when I am at school.

Can you please help me with this problem? May the Lord bless you.

N.H., Jamaica

Dear N.H.,

I am glad that you have written and I want to assure that some girls have the same type of problems. Normal people experience sexual urges. However, some people have been able to control these urges more than others. People who never have sex are able to control their urges more than those who yielded to the temptation to have sex and became sexually active at a tender age.

Although I do not have the opportunity to question you in person, I wonder with whom you are having sex. It does not seem to be with one person because you have been doing it "even at school".

bad reputation

I guess you are going to a co-ed school and your sexual partners are the boys who are students at the school. If indeed the boys at school are having sex with you, you are going to develop a very bad reputation as a girl who is easy to get and the same boys will call you names that are not very flattering.

Now, let us back to what you should do. As I said before, every normal girl has sexual urges. We may even call it a sex drive. Many young people believe that sex is only a physical act, but as you have experienced, the more you have it is the more you want it. And if you don't learn to control your sexual urges, you may get into serious problems, and when I say that I am not only talking about getting pregnant. I am also talking about contracting sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS.

more than just mammals

You see, human beings are not like animals. "When animals are in heat (fertile) the sex drive is irresistible. They have no choice but to mate. We humans think before we act. We do not have to give in to our sexual drive. We can consider the consequences. We think about the future, and we can decide what we will and will not do."

deny the drive

"The sex drive is different from the hungry drive. You cannot live long without eating, but you can deny the sex drive indefinitely without any ill effects whatsoever."

I would encourage you to seek the help of a counsellor whom you believe you can trust. And I would urge you to learn to begin to say no when you feel like having sex. Don't put yourself in a situation where you would be tempted to have sex. Remember you can be expelled from school if you are caught having sex. Ask the Good Lord to help you to control these urges.

Pastor