Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your columns for years now. You are doing a wonderful job. My problem is that when I was 15 I went to Jamaica to live with my mom. About a year later she migrated to another country to work. She left me to live with her boyfriend. A week or so after she left, he told me that he wanted me out of his house.

At the time I had a boyfriend and his mom said that I could stay with them. I lived there until the age of 17. I still attended school and did very well. I moved back to the United States with my dad. I was sent to Jamaica because my dad was in the middle of a divorce.

I am now 25 and I have two children with an American man to whom I am engaged. Things have been going really well with us. I feel guilty because I still keep in touch with the guy in Jamaica. I mean, he says that he is waiting for me, but I have told him about this guy and our children. I want to go to Jamaica, but I feel weird because the man that I am engaged to is going with me. I mean I want him to come with me.

I don't love this guy in Jamaica anymore. I was young when we were together and am I grateful to him and his mom for all the help that they have given me. I don't know what their reactions are going to be towards my children and my fiancé. I will be staying in the same community.

Please, I need your advice on how to approach the situation when I visit Jamaica.

T.L., New York, USA

Dear T.L.,

You have already told this young man and his mother that you are in love with another man and both of you have children. And although the young man in Jamaica will be disappointed, he should try and understand and wish you well. If you have not yet told your children's father about the guy in Jamaica, you should. So that you would not be embarrassed if someone tells him about the guy while both of you are in Jamaica.

I wish you well and I am very glad that you are happy.

Pastor