Dear Pastor,

I read your column as often as I possibly can. Now, I just want to vent via this medium. I am a very hard-working, progressive single woman. I have been working from the age of 18. I left Jamaica at the age of 32 and it was not easy. At one point I had nowhere to turn to, as my relatives were 'two-faced'. However, I persevered. I went back to school and got a degree. Since I graduated, life threw me some curves, but with God's help and wise planning, I was able to overcome.

Old friend

Two years ago, I purchased a home. I have been at my current job for a couple years and have been promoted. Last year, I ran into a man whom I had known from childhood. As a matter of fact, he recognised me. We exchanged numbers and we started talking. I subsequently invited him over, as he was on one of these work programmes, and he expressed how bored he was after work and he felt great knowing there was someone he could hang out with.

Pastor, we started going out, one night it rained heavily, he did not have a car, and a cab was just too costly. I did not venture out, as there was a flood advisory in effect. I told him he could stay in the guest room. I got up early the morning and drove him to his dormitory/place of work. When he was getting out of the car, he tried to kiss me on the cheek. I told him he was crazy. I must say I had really started to like him. We spent hours on the phone.

I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said yes, but he did not love her anymore as she was not his type and he was just there as they had acquired a house together and he did not have the heart to ask her to leave without knowing she had a place to go. Would you know, I believed his stories. He asked me to marry him. I encouraged him to go home and if it was God's will, then things would work out. I told my parents and spiritual friends to pray about it.

Pastor, the man left just before Christmas. He called me when he got home. He had given me a cell number, which I tried on numerous occasions, with no luck! Eventually, I got him one day. He said he did not call as he did not want the woman to kill herself. Oh, well, Christmas came, nothing. New Year's he sent a very generic text message. He did not call. Pastor, months later he is back and has the nerve to try to get in touch with me. He obviously was looking for his landing papers as he had asked me to marry him before he left. Some nerve.

I empathise with him, but I should have known better. I was settling. He was not of my calibre. Probably loneliness and the stereotypical stuff we grew up around about being single at 40 made me think about this man. He was a great pretender. I found out a lot on my own. He told me of three kids, but he is the father of six. He is not actively involved in the lives of three.

Clean out

On Saturday, my brother and I will be putting his few pieces that he asked me to keep when he was leaving into a garbage bag to drop off for him. I do not have a thing to say to him. "To the left!" as Beyonce sings. I am ok.

God bless you, sir, and keep up the good works. Ladies and gents, please be very careful. There are some really desperate people out there who will do anything to get landing papers for the USA, Canada or the UK. They are wolves in sheep's clothing. I have heard some horror stories, especially about Nigerians and Jamaicans. Please, be aware.

Single girl, Connecticut, USA

Dear Single,

You are a wise woman. You realised that this man was lying and you were not prepared to let him make a fool of you. He gave away himself when he did not contact you while he was in Jamaica and you were not able to contact him. I wish you well, ma'am.

Pastor