Dear Pastor,
I hope you are in good health. I desperately need your help. I am a good looking young man of 28. I'm very popular and the girls just love me. But I am very concerned about the size of my penis. To compensate, I have sex with a lot of girls. I have a girlfriend and sometimes I think she is faking an orgasm with me. Could she be deep like a bucket that no needle can hit? I am very conscious about my manhood.
Man crush
But for sometime I have been hanging with my friends and I am developing feelings for them. There is this 17-year-old, good friend of mine in particular and I think that I have a crush on him. I fantasise about taking his virginity in his anus. He always comes to my house at nights to use my computer and I want to make a move. Are 17-year-olds underage? How do I turn him on and make him love me too? I had sex with my neighbour's dog to see what sex in the bottom would feel like and I love it. It feels better than a woman.
Can you help me, please?
H.W., Jamaica
Dear H.W.,
You are a dirty fellow. You are grossly immoral. You did not write me because you need help. You wrote me to tell me how nasty you are. You are shameless and you are not seeking help. Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame. Don't forget that nastiness is not a virtue. You need to get down on your knees and pray for forgiveness.
Pastor
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