The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: Waiting in disdain

Dear Pastor,

I have been with a guy for approximately four years. I am 18 years old and he is 23. I love him very much, but he only likes me. He works and I attend college, but he is very hard on me. He is easy to get vexed and jealous. One day I had to meet him downtown. While I was waiting for him for about two hours, I started to get upset so I saw some of my colleagues and decided to join them because standing alone was very uncomfortable. When he finally arrived, he looked vexed. I asked him what took him so long, but he didn't answer me so I took it that he didn't want to talk. When I reached home he sent me a text message saying that I should leave him alone and go back to my men. I was so angry that I shouted at him and told him never to call me again.

I want to know if this guy is really interested in me. Whenever I say meet me downtown, he finds excuses or he will tell me that he cannot come. He loves to have sex with me and doesn't like to spend money.

K.F., St James, Jamaica

Dear K.F.,

Both of you are young people. You are 18 and your boyfriend is 23. You must have disagreements from time to time. However, that does not give him the right to accuse you of having other men. You have a right to choose your friends and to talk to them whenever you desire.

Childish

You waited on this man for a long time. After not seeing him, your friends came along and you spent some time with them, nothing is wrong with that. His attitude was childish and he needs to grow up. Right now he is behaving as a little boy. It is either that he feels that he has a right to punish you or he is telling you that he is not interested in the relationship.

You shouldn't run after him or beg him to forgive you. What wrong have you done? Both of you are having sex; I hope that you protected yourself. I gather that you feel that you were being used because he was not giving you any money. You call him mean, but just remember that he was not obligated to give you money. However, if you had financial needs, he should have assisted you. Be careful what you do.

Pastor