Dear Pastor,
I have had this friend for eight years now. I met him when I began high school through a friend of mine because they dated for a while. When they broke up however we continued being friends, our friendship developed to the point where we became best friends, I told him everything and he likewise.
As I stated before we were best friends so we saw a lot of each other and spent a lot of time together. It all started in November of 2006 however when he began showing that he liked me more than just friends. I knew this for awhile, but I didn't act on it because I knew if I did and things went bad, I would lose him as my friend and that I didn't want to do. However in December 30 of the same year we kissed and everything happened from there. He had a girlfriend at the time and because of that I kept my distance. He later broke off the relationship with her and we began our relationship as lovers.
EVERYTHING CHANGED
At first everything was ok. We were the same, the only thing that was different is that we showed intimacy towards each other, and then everything changed. We began to get jealous and then started to argue a lot. Things got worst because my father disapproved of our relationship for a number of reasons. At one point I was told to choose between my father and my boyfriend. I explained all this to my boyfriend not knowing how affected he would be by this. My father - I would say is a rational person so when we sat down and talked about previous events - he decided he would give the relationship a chance if I decided to take it slowly which I agreed to do.
A week after this event everything was ok, but my boyfriend's father had my phone and when he gave him the phone to give to me he placed his sim card in my phone so I got a hold of a number of text messages. These were text messages from a seventeen year old girl and it was very clear that they had started some sort of relationship. I was upset about it and confronted him about it. He told me that it was because my father disapproved of him why he turned to someone else and that it was me who turned my father against him. He said he would end the relationship with her and he didn't, so I decided to end it with him.
Constantly saddened
We don't talk anymore nor do we see each other again and it has been three weeks since it ended and a week since we have stopped corresponding. My problem is I know I did the right thing by ending the relationship, but I am constantly saddened by this because not only did I lose my boyfriend, but I lost my best friend and I miss him. I have a lot going on with me right now as my mother is very sick and my little sister is unhappy. I am a young and newly converted Christian and I know that God will take care of me, but it is so much for me to handle right now. I was ready to marry this person. I loved him and he was one of the few persons in my life I have ever depended on for emotional support as I was not raised to take money or material things from persons. Now I feel as though I have no one as everyone at some point in my life has let me down. I really need to know how to be there for my mother without feeling sorry for myself. I just want all the pain to go away.
I can't begin to tell you all that is happening in my life right now but please pray for me and my family. I really need your advice.
C. C., Jamaica
Dear C. C.,
Let me set your heart at ease. This young man who told you that he got involved with the 17 years old girl because of your father's attitude towards him is lying. He wasn't talking the truth at all. She was his girlfriend and you had nothing to do with it. You fell in love with him and the relationship didn't work. So you are feeling down. Now that you have become a Christian, the struggle is on. The evil one (Satan) is going to be at your heel, but don't give up. Don't go back to this young man at all.
Spend some time in prayer and fasting.
Pastor
Ask the believers in the church to remember you in prayer. Read your Bible everyday. I assure you of my prayer.
Pastor
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