The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: Caught in STITCHES

Dear Pastor,

I am a 15 year old girl who lives in Miami, but attends school in Jamaica. I'm writing because I am in deep trouble and I need your advice. I have been with a guy who is 23 for five months now. About two months ago I lost my virginity to him. When we first met he told me that he was not currently in a relationship, which I found very hard to believe because of the job he does. Once when I went to look for my grandma in the country, I saw him and a girl coming from the river. The way they were moving I knew this was not just a friend. I then asked him about her and he told she is his ex-girlfriend. I didn't believe him, but I left it at that.

Non-stop bleeding

I had sex with him a second time (unprotected) and I noticed that I was bleeding nonstop for two days. I knew something was wrong because the first time I didn't bleed that much. Then I noticed some blisters coming up on my genital areas which were very painful. I became very worried so I asked him if he has any sexually transmitted infections (STI). He was upset when I asked and asked me if I am crazy. The strangest thing was that he was still willing to have unprotected sex with me after I told him the situation. The matter got worst until there were lesions on my genital and it was painful for me to urinate. I suddenly lost my appetite and lost about five pounds. I couldn't have sex because it would irritate the sores. I wanted to go to the doctor, but I was scared because for medication I would have to ask my grandmother for money. I knew the outcome wouldn't be pretty. He told me that he would help me with the medications, but I didn't accept his offer.

His explanation

His explanation to the situation was that I could have got infection from the tissue I used or the panties I wear. I know this is possible but the symptoms just didn't add up. He says he couldn't give me a STI because he has no symptoms. I know it's possible that he has a STI because he had sex with his ex-girlfriend before she left Jamaica to live in New York. I am totally confused about his intentions.

The symptoms have gone away. I promise myself that if the sores come back again I'm taking myself to the doctor. In my mind I just think I have herpes. He has lied to me so much that I think he is lying to me again. I tried to let him go but it's so hard to do. I know I am young and should be hitting my books but we stray at times. I work hard at school, but when my mind is not on school work, it's on him. Now that I'm home because I'm on holidays, it's hard for me to eat, sleep or do anything because my mind is on him. I call him every weekend. I find him telling me the same thing.

Pastor, what is your say?

K. D., Florida, USA

Dear K. D.,

May I urge you to go to the doctor. Please, go to the doctor. You need help. It is very, very unfortunate that you allowed this guy to have unprotected sex with you. He is a liar. He cannot be trusted. He knew what he was doing and he doesn't care about you.

Pastor

Whether or not you become pregnant is no big thing to him. A 15 years old girl should not be having sex, but I know it is happening all the time. He did not break up with the girl he called his ex. Keep out of his way. If you don't, he will continue to use you.

Pastor