Dear Pastor,

I am a 22-year-old female and a mother of a six-month-old baby boy. I have a huge problem. My problem is that I have been living with my babyfather for the last four years. We have always talked about getting married, but sometimes I think he doesn't want to. He tells everyone that I am his future wife, but that does not count. When we talk about it he always says that he doesn't want to get me anything cheap, but, at the same time, he is not trying. I always tell him that I am not going to stay unmarried with a man for a certain period of time. I know that marriage life is hard, but I think ours can work because we tell each other everything, no matter how hard it is. I told him I am leaving until he is really ready to get married.

Pastor, am I wrong for telling him this? Please give me your fatherly advice.

S.E., St Andrew, Jamaica

Dear S.E.,

You cannot force this man to marry you, but you can leave if you believe that he is taking you for granted or fooling you. Some men promise women marriage and the women continue to wait and while waiting they are getting more and more children. You have one, and if the understanding was that both of you were going to get married soon and he is still talking his nonsense, and you want to send him a message, you may talk to your parents about the situation and ask them to take you in. Perhaps, if you were to do so, your boyfriend would get the message.

Pastor