Dear Pastor,

I have developed strong feelings for a man that is unavailable. We both live in Atlanta, but his girlfriend lives in Jamaica. We spend a lot of time together whenever his girl is not around and it's all about me and him. But when his girl is here, I don't get to see him. He just texts me or e-mails me to tell me he misses me or he's thinking of me. I knew before getting in this situation that I am not to get attached, but I just got out of a relationship and I needed a friend and one thing led to another.

We've been doing this for two years now. I'm human. I can't be spending all this time with this man and not have feelings for him. No matter how hard I try to make him a friend with benefits, it doesn't work. I tell myself that whenever he calls me I'm going to ignore it, but whenever I see his number on my phone, I can't help but to answer. I'm just mad at myself for allowing this to go on for so long.

Another reason why it's so hard to get him out of my system is because I haven't met anyone who sparks my curiosity. Whenever I meet someone new who I'm not interested in, my thoughts go right back to him and I just hate going through this process of meeting and getting to know people.

Pastor, I honestly don't know what to do. Should I just let it go or continue putting life on hold for this man? All I want is a man for myself.

D. J., Georgia, USA

Dear D. J.,

You know for certain that this man is willing to play around with you. But he has his fiancés and you have admitted that you cannot get him to make a commitment to you. The closer you get to this man is the more you are going to get hurt. So I suggest that you break up this relationship and make it final. Stop dating him.

Pastor