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In the red

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old accounts manager who is married and lives at home with my 24-year- old husband of two years. My husband and I have been together for six years and I have been having problems with his desire to sleep with other women. He has never been the kind of man that sleeps around. He just went from a serious relationship to being a husband. I am the first woman for my husband and hope to be the last, but his curiosity and lust have caused me not to trust him.

Text messages

One day we had a fight over a woman he has been sending text messages to for two years. I confronted him and he got upset and hit me. This is something he promised not to do. He told me it's nothing to worry about and that they are just friends. I can't even have a male friend. If I do, he gets upset and wants me to chase them away. He even often accuses me of things I am not even doing. He says that he loves me only when we have problems, otherwise nothing. Sometimes I feel like he would put any woman in front of me as long as they correspond with him in any way, friendship or lovers.

I am fed up

I want to know if I should fight for him or leave him. I am fed up. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man, but looking over my head to see if he is going to cheat is like a job that I am not getting paid for. All I receive is headache and pain. I love him and want it to work, but my heart is tired of the issues in our life.

Please, tell me, pastor.

K., Delaware, USA

Dear K.,

I suggest that you suggest to your husband that both of you go to see a family counsellor. Clearly you are in love with this man and you do not believe that he is cheating. Pastor

But the things he says make you feel that he may cheat and destroy the relationship. He has even become physically abusive. So, please go and see a family counsellor before matters get out of hand.


June 9, 2008

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