Dear Counsellor:

My girlfriend came home last night with a battered face and was very upset. When I asked her what happened, she told me she went out with her new boyfriend.

They decided to have sex but since she knew very little about him she asked him to use a condom.

He did not have one and so she went in her handbag and took out one. Her boyfriend cursed and started to beat her saying she thinks he is unclean. Counsellor, don't you think this girl did the right thing? I think she is just being careful and I told her she should be proud of herself. Am I right in telling her that?

Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend:

Yes, you are right. He should look at this girl in a different light, as a person who is responsible and interested in protecting the health of both parties involved. Signs of some sexually transmitted infections are not always visible and can be passed on during unprotected sex.

He needs to know that because someone looks clean it does not mean they are not infected with a sexually transmitted infection (STI) including HIV the virus that causes AIDS.

He is to be encouraged to learn more about STI and HIV and how to protect himself by using a condom every time he has sex.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 967-3830, 967-3764 or toll free at

1888-991-4444 or write to AIDS Affairs, c/o the Star 7 North Street, Kingston.