It is clear that in marriage, just like so many other things in life, it can be the best of times and the worst of times. Marriage is generally regarded as a noble institution which provides for the union of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others. The inclusion of a third party sometimes makes it a dangerous game with endless and sometimes unpleasant possibilities.

Below is the story of the broken heart who was also suicidal. The reader 'DL' writes: "In 1999, my wife to be had decided that she wanted to start attending church. At that same time I found out that she was sleeping with a co-worker for years. We were having serious problems at the time.

"Her pastor advised me that I must marry her so that she can be free to become a Christian. I told him 'no' since we had so many problems. He convinced me that God will work it out. I have been living in hell since.

"Short of it is, I was suicidal at that point. I did not want to live. I could find no one to just listen to me! As a teacher, I was reduced to not being able to read.

"Questions: how do you annul a marriage? On what grounds do you do so? Since I had moved out in 2003 can I obtain an annulment now? Or even a divorce?"

In response let me say that I hope the reader, having moved out from the matrimonial home from 2003, is now at peace with himself. Your pastor might even encourage you to pray for and forgive your wife. This is the Christian way and might be the best approach.

Maybe I should make a comment about premarital counselling. In this case, the pastor encourages marriage and the wife joining a church with the hope that the combination would have stopped the wife's cheating habits. It certainly points to a need for better trained premarital counsellors and a more structured premarital counselling process that all churches and marriage officers could sign off on. The point here is that a 20-minute talk with some pastor/marriage officer is sufficient while others require much more. There might not be a need for legislative intervention but having regard to the number of failed marriages, especially, in the first five years of the marriage, it might be useful to encourage a more structured premarital counselling programme for all persons getting married, except tourists on visit for that purpose, to obtain a marriage counselling certificate before marriage. We should remember that in many instances, children are the natural product of marriages and an early separation and thereafter divorce can have untold hardship on the young ones but this is only a thought. In fact, if a structured premarital counselling programme can save one marriage, it would be worth pursuing.

What 'DL' can do is to apply for a divorce, having been married for well over two years and separated for 12 months and more. Annulment is not applicable in these circumstances as 'DL' would have seen from my articles in this column in the last three weeks when I wrote extensively on annulment.

If 'DL' believes that this marriage is irretrievably broken and there is no likelihood of getting back to his wife ever again, he should seek the advice of a lawyer and get it over with.

Keith N. Bishop is an Attorney-at-Law and partner in the firm of Bishop & Fullerton. He may be contacted by email at knbishop@gmail.com