The popularity and the existence of the cellphone has cramped and otherwise crippled the cheating enterprise of many men. The cellphone has acted as a tracking device as well as a means of revealing valuable information to those whom it may concern.

I was recently in a heated discussion with a group of men about why women should not answer a man's phone and why it is to the woman's detriment to do so.

As a well-thinking being, I could not presume that merrily answering a man's phone could be to my detriment. Is almost like sey as mi answa di phone mi ears ago blow up!

There was the weak line of argument and dim point of view that a woman has no right to answer her man's phone if he doesn't answer hers. They also claimed that the phone does not belong to her so she must 'leave de phone alone', after all, no one is calling her.

I put it to them that they are of that point of view because they, like most men, have something to hide. They rebutted by saying men don't have anything to hide, at which point I asked, 'why when some men are in the shower and all soaped up from head to toe, dem jump out a di shower on a hundred meter hurdle race to get to the phone that the woman is sitting right next to'.

The fact that your woman wants to answer your phone should be fine. You have the right to exercise the same franchise and if you don't, then that's your problem.

By this time, each man had a smirk on his face - I guess there is a kind of secret code only known by men.

I went on to ask why when a man is around his woman his phone is off or on vibrate? They suggested that dem a save phone battery. So I asked them what about the charger? I asked about the infamous one syllable conversation that they normally have which goes like, "Yeah........ uummhh ............. u done know". That is no conversation at all and women are not stupid! The man was just asked three specific questions to which he provided monosyllabic answers. He was asked the following questions:

'You de home?'

Yeah...

'You ooman de deh?'

uummhh.

'Can I see you later?'

u done know.

A wey some man tek big ooman fa?

I enquired about another thing I call 'the early morning booty call' which comes in at 2 or 3 a.m. when some men have the audacity to get out of bed, go into another room, take the call and then return to bed as if it's business as usual.

The testosterone was so high around me that after putting the scenario to them, like a rehearsed choir they all said the 'man was being considerate thru him nu wa wake har up'. Well to rahtid, wake me up and mek noise a mi head ca dat couldn't be my bed or else a would a be pure bangarang.

Which man wey nuh av nuttin fi hide ago get up fi tek dem call deh in a di early morning? Him a nuh CIA or FBI nor a nuh one a im fren dem stranded, so a coulda who so important.

By this time every man quiet and a gi mi 'di look'.

The problem is not the cellphone nor the woman. It is the lies and the double lives that many men try to lead.

Some men never have a text message in their phone yet. The inbox and outbox always empty, so till mi av to wonder if nu body nu know dem. Not even one 'please call me' text?

Mi know uno a wonda why mi in a de man phone, but a thru my battery low and mi a save pon charge, mi av to borrow fi him own to send a text.