Dear Pastor,

My wife and I have been married for four years now and she is Jamaican. I was born in England and I also have Jamaican citizenship. I have three children, the eldest is 19 and I pay a lot of money to the Child Support Agency for child support for them, even though the children's mothers earn far more than me.

Anyway, a family member back home was killing her for money, and I helped to bring him to the United Kingdom (UK). Since then, he has become wild and very lazy and got a girl of 15 pregnant. She just had his baby and he is 18. Due to this and other members of her family, we have separated. They kept saying that her elderly mother, who is deaf and ill, needs money for all sorts of treatment, and other family members are also begging money. There are eight other siblings. She is very weak to their demands and this has caused a rift between us. I was so fed up that I had an affair and fathered a child, but my wife doesn't know.

My wife was in England illegally so I married her in 2003 because she had overstayed her time by six months. Her cousin told her about a lawyer, who turned out to be bogus, took her money and did some paperwork and sent them to the Home Office, and she was not granted permission to stay in England. She was working and she had an argument with her boss, which resulted in immigration officers and police arresting her at work. She is now in a UK prison, looking at a 12-18 month prison sentence and deportation for working illegally. She was working in her name with her own National Insurance (NI) number, but had false work permits.

Pastor, what should I do? She has a lawyer, who seems good, but she will be deported or imprisoned. She claims to have enough money to buy a house back home and maybe to run a small business. I have land, which I could build on and own a house in London. I'm confused. I don't really want to leave the children, and, at the same time, I want a fresh start. I would need my own money to start something bigger with her. What should I do, sir? Would she listen to me about her family or let them bleed us dry? I know what she did was wrong, but she was waiting to get permission to work.

It's really unfair that Jamaica is a Commonwealth country and, here in the UK, we have thousands of eastern Europeans coming over here, who can't speak a word of English, who can claim benefits and work without a problem. She was not selling drugs or defrauding the State. She worked hard and paid taxes and NI from her wages, even though she had used false documention to get the job.

P.D., London, England

Dear P.D.,

This woman broke the law. She has false documents. She was not legal in the country and she is now facing deportation. I am sorry for her, but the law must be obeyed.

Concerning your marriage to her, she didn't use good judgement when dealing with family matters. Poor woman, she meant well. I hope you will not abandon her.

Pastor