Dear Counsellor:

I'm very worried. You see, I'm a married woman and I know that my husband is not faithful. When I realised what he was doing, I decided that I would do the same. Knowing was making me very unhappy until I got even with him. However, the fear of contracting sexually transmitted infections is constantly haunting me. I really want to protect myself by using a condom whenever I have sex but it is against our religious belief (my church). How can I protect myself?

Worried Wife

Dear Worried Wife:

Thanks for your letter. Thinking about your religious values and what your conscience says is an important part of making a decision about having sex. Some people think that the values they learn in church don't help very much when it comes to thinking about sex and condoms. Talking with your parents, pastors, priest or minister can sometimes help sort out the confusion. But if you then decide to follow the advice of your religious community about sex, follow its teaching about taking care of yourself and others. Most religions teach that we are to care for others the way we want to be cared for. You would want your partner to protect you from HIV, so you need to make the moral commitment to protect your partners and yourself; that means using condoms every time you have sex.