The Jamaica Star :: Tell Me Pastor :: Long-distance relationship

Dear Pastor,

I have a bit of a situation here that I would like you to help me with. Is it possible for a girl to find the man of her dreams at age 15? Well, I think that I did. I am 18 at the moment, and I met my boyfriend at age 15. He was 18 at the time.

Living in different countries

I care a lot for him and I know that he cares for me too. We have been through a lot together. At the moment we are living in different countries and I know most people would ask, "Isn't he cheating?" I too have asked that question and I know that he has asked the same question about me too, but it all comes down to trust. I thought that I could not deal with the long distance relationship idea, but he brought me through. You may ask, then if I am so sure of my relationship what is the problem? Well, that would be my mom.

Never liked him

I got engaged to my boyfriend on my 18th birthday. I have not told my mom as yet. I don't know how to tell her. She has never liked him. When she thought that he was just a friend she was okay with the idea. But the moment she found out that he was my boyfriend, she became mad.

I have changed

I was not around my mom for about three years. During those years I have changed, but she does not want to accept that. She still looks at me as her little baby. I want so badly to tell her that we are getting married soon, but I know that she is going to say that I can't find love so young, because she did not. I love my mom with all my heart, but I don't want to obey her wishes and leave my boyfriend when he could be the one for me.

Pastor, you are a very respectable person and I need your advice on this situation. What do you think is best for me? Should I tell my mom that I am getting married or should I just do it and tell her later?

S.R., Toronto, Canada

Dear S.R..,

It is a fact that you are an adult and you can do whatever you please. However, good family relation is important, very important, so whether your mother approves or disapproves, inform her that you are engaged and planning to get married. She may hit the roof, but she will calm down. Never let it be said by your mother that you have not treated her with respect.

Pastor