Dear Pastor,

I have something that's bothering me. It affects my self-esteem and confidence. I am only 20 years old and I have slept with about 80 men over a four-year period. None of these encounters have been for money. I just keep finding myself in these situations. Some of the guys' names I don't remember. I've had about 10 one-night stands, all of which I deeply regret. I got genital warts at 17, and now I have genital herpes, which is under control since I take my medication. My last HIV test was negative. I'm really not happy about this whole ordeal, so I decided to tell someone, you. I just want to let it out. I find that in doing so, I feel a little better. Not that the numbers are going to go down, but I have always been lying about it. The highest I've admitted to was 15, which is not even half of the truth.

Now, my question to you is, how does the number of men I have slept with affect the size of my vagina? I'm already aware of the other effects such as how I see and feel about myself, the risks I expose myself to, and so forth. And one more thing, do you think most girls lie about the number of men they truly had sex with?

M.B., St Ann, Jamaica

Dear M.B.,

Let me answer your last question first. Most women do not admit the number of men they have gone to bed with. Prostitutes who beat the street may not keep count. Call girls may keep a daily log and know the names of their clients.

You have been to bed with more than 80 men. You are not happy about your lifestyle. And I would like to suggest that you see a psychologist for therapy. No one can live like that and not suffer psychologically and emotionally.

A therapist will help you answer the question "why". Why have you had so many men in your life? And how can you avoid making the same mistake? So you need the help of a therapist. And you also need spiritual help. Ask God to help you. Read the Bible and pray every day. Go to church and follow the advice of your doctor. Don't bother about the size of your vagina. You will be all right.

Pastor