Dear Pastor,

I am a young woman who is 35 years old. Two years ago, I met a young man at college and we became good friends. I later fell in love with him. The problem is that he is married. I tried everything to get him to fall in love with me and I thought it was working. I would call himday and night. He would take my calls because I told him I was having problems at home with my family and needed someone to talk to. I did not have many friends at school; most people think of me as a "bitch".

My frequent calls eventually caused problems with his wife and I was there to offer comfort. I bought presents for him and his daughter, but his wife made him return them. I would call and hang up if his wife answered the phone. When she told him, I would deny it and tell him that she is just trying to control him. She had a voice recorder and caller ID.installed on the phone. One day she called him. He had left his phone on the desk and I answered and was rude to her. She called him on his other phone and told him and of course I denied it. She played it for him and that's when he decided to end our friendship.

Plan backfired

I tried to destroy his reputation by telling everyone that he asked me for sex and I refused. But when I called him to give him a chance, he put his phone on speaker so other people heard what I had planned to do and it backfired. I eventually dropped out of school. I tried calling and emailing him and he has not responded. That was two years ago.

I saw him one month ago and even though I now have a boyfriend, I find myself thinking about him constantly. I think I deserve him more than his wife. She is very beautiful and I am not, but I worship the ground he walks on. I would never let him do any form of housework like she does (they take turns). I have started the calls again, but he does not answer.

What should I do, pastor? He once told me he could love no one but his wife, and he would be lost without her. They have been married for 10 years. I am also older than they are, but I want him. Help me, please.

N. S., St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear N. S.,

Are you nuts? Evidently you are. You are not behaving as if you are in your right mind. I call upon you to pray and ask God to help you to control yourself.

This man has told you that he will never leave his wife. You are just a devilish woman who needs God in your life.

Pastor