Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old Jamaican living in Canada. When I was 16, I met and dated a guy a year older than I. We would go everywhere together and talk about anything. I got along great with his friends and mom, which was a dream come true. He used to tell me that he loved me and he would do anything for me, which was true. But I was afraid of getting hurt, so I kept my guard up. It turned out that he was tired of me not showing him my feelings in return, so he broke up with me. That was the worst summer of my life. I was depressed. I cried every day and I lost a lot of weight. After that, I got into various relationships that were not good at all, just because I wanted someone to love me like he loved me. Every guy I was with after him cheated on me and lied to me.

Moved on

Now, the one who I love has a baby with another girl and he loves her and treats her just as he treated me, which burns me. I always say that was me and I threw away the best guy. I still talk to his friends and I saw him recently. He looked so happy and all my feelings came back for him.

Pastor, I know I am young but what do I do? I really believe what we had was love and now I can't move on, because I am still in love with him.

S.E., Toronto, Canada

Dear S.E.,

I would encourage you to try your best not to allow this man to toy with you. It is not wise for a girl to go to bed with every man who shows interest in her. You are seeking love, but when a girl allows a man to have sex with her and he gets tired of her, he moves on and another man comes along and does the same thing. Before long, she would have had a dozen men in her life. And all they were interested in was having sex with her.

Take a stand. Try to control your emotions. Learn to say 'no' to men and they will respect you. Ask God to lead and direct your steps.

Pastor