Dear Pastor,

I am an American who visited Jamaica twice within the last two years. I befriended three people last year, one woman and two men. The two men started asking me for money. I was so turned off because they acted as if I was supposed to send money at their request. I quickly changed my phone number. The woman didn't start hinting for money until a storm blew off her roof. I sent her money to help with food for herself and her children.

This year, I went to Jamaica and met two guys. One asked me to send him $100 for clothes, I declined. The other guy told me, since he was going through hard times, he felt I have the money to help him, but I just didn't send it. When we met, he said he had a girlfriend but it was nothing serious, they were "just hanging out".

Feel guilty

I feel like he was trying to get over her by making me feel guilty for not helping him pay his rent, bills, etc. I have sent money twice to help him with gas, food etc in the past. I feel as though they think I am Bank of America, and I am tired of it.

I know we all go through hard times, but to make someone feel guilty for not helping him pay his bills is not right. Why he is out of work is another story.

I am supposed to go back to Jamaica and I am not sure is a good idea. The men I have met in Jamaica have given the 'good' ones a bad name. I know all men are not the same. I assume they took me as an easy target. If I had the money, I would give it to the homeless, but I have to eat and pay bills too.

L.K., Michigan, USA

Dear L. K.,

Let me put it to you plainly as I can, and don't ever forget it. Jamaican men are not beggars. But, like every country, there is a small number who would try to get money from women who while visiting the island give the impression that they are loaded with the greenback, and are willing to give their dollars away. Such women become targets.

Come to Jamaica and enjoy yourself. Stay in all-inclusive hotels if you don't want to mingle with the little man, and you feel that they are trying to get your money.

God knows my heart, I have tried to be nice to you, but the truth is, I have found your letter offensive.

Pastor