Dear Pastor,

I've been reading your articles for a few years now and never thought that I would be writing to you myself. However, "no man is an island".

The dilemma I'm having is that I am in love with two women and not sure which road to choose. I will make it as brief, yet to the point. One is a Jamaican and the other is an American. I've known the Jamaican for more than three years and the American for one-and-a-half years.

Any man would be blessed

They are wonderful, independent, ambitious and caring women who are financially set. Any man would be blessed to be with either of them. I am also financially stable. However, I am engaged to the American and have not been faithful. I have been seeing the Jamaican and other females. I have cut it down to only the Jamaican and I am at a crossroad in my life and want to know what to do!

Sex is not the same

I am a Jamaican who has been residing in the U.S. for more than 10 years and I love my Jamaican culture: Language, music, food which the Americans can't cook among other issues. Sex is not the same. It is more exciting with the Jamaican. I have spoken to the American, but I don't foresee much change in that department.

The American tries to cook Jamaican meals. I showed her, but it is not the same. Know what I mean? I was raised to see that the woman is to appease the man. What I mean is that she should cook, clean etc.

Hold on a minute, I also do those duties among others. But Pastor it is not the same. I do care for her though, but her career requires her to be on the Internet it seems 24 hours a day, so when I come home from work and or the street, I am tired and hungry and I get mad when there is not a hot meal waiting for me. Am I wrong?

Get married and have kids

I do not want to hurt any of them, but I know I will have to. I am 32 years of age and would like to get married and have kids one day. And when I do, I know I will be faithful to whomever I choose. I have bought a house with the American and we have a few financial ties with each other besides the house. But I am willing to give it all up to her if and when it requires such action.

I am not a dependent, mater-ialistic, egotistical, typical man who only wants for himself, but I do want to get rid of this feeling of stress and indecisiveness that I have been having for the past few months.

Pastor, please, advice me.

M.B., New York, USA

Dear M.B.,

You are a joker. There is much more to what you have said. If you knew that this American was lacking in so many areas, why are you with her? Who do you think you are fooling?

I am putting it to you that you got involved with the American woman because you needed her help. You knew about Jamaican women and their cooking, etc before you got involved with the American girl. You are a player and you are a user too. You are not a good man. Why should the American woman treat you as if you are a good man? Cook your own meal. Clean your own house.

Pastor

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KINGSTREET, KINGSTON.

TELEPHONE: 929 - 1667/8. EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM