Dear Pastor,

I am so hurt about a lot of things in my life. I am depressed because of my son's father. First, I must tell you that we had a loving relationship which resulted in having our son. We were a very happy family. But I came to England to visit my relatives in the UK. I did not plan to stay here, but decided to go to college and further my education. I spoke to him about it before starting my studies. Anyway, this man has stopped looking after his son. He doesn't visit him or give my sister any money to support his son through school. I am the one who supports my son through school. I am his mother and his father at the moment.

This man works at a bauxite company and earns a very good salary and is a well-educated man. He would not pick up the phone to call his only son. I am so hurt to see him treating his child like this.

Wonderful man

I recently got married to a wonderful man. He loves my son so much and my son loves him. We are filing for him to come and live with us in UK. I promised myself that he will never know that my son is coming to the UK to live because he has not contacted him for five years.

Pastor, please tell me what to do.

C. B., Nottingham, England

Dear C. B.,

When you were living in Jamaica, your son's father and you got along well. You broke that by deciding to stay in the UK. It was from there the good relationship started to go down hill. You did not reason with the man as a family. You just told him what you decided to do and by doing so, you destroyed the relationship.

This man, however, should have supported his son. That is his responsibility. He has not done well. I would love to hear why he is not supporting him.

You say that you are married and you hope to take the child to the UK, may I suggest that you advise his father of your intention.

Pastor