Dear Pastor,

I am a 28-year-old mother of two. Two years ago, I got married to a man who is five years younger than me. At first, he was very nice and possessed all the qualities of a good man.

Anyway, we moved into my mother's house because he was living out of town, but worked close to me. We decided that it would be better if he lived with me so we could save towards our own home. Right after we got married, he became possessive and abusive. He says bad things about me to our neighbours. He even told my son's father and his wife that I was ill-treating my son. I forgave him for all of that.

Sleeping out

I got a job in the Caribbean to see if we made more money, then we wouldn't be so stressed out all the time and things would change. About a month after I left, he started sleeping out and disrespecting my mom in her own house, so I asked him to leave. Sometimes I feel guilty because I still love him. He is poorly educated and the job he has now, I got it for him. He has nothing to offer me. He is broke.

Lie for money

His mother lives in America, but hardly does anything for him. And, if she does anything for him, he has to lie to get it. I feel guilty because I am not a believer in divorce, but I felt backed in a corner. I know God can change anyone, but I still wonder if leaving him was the best thing to do.

Pastor, please give me some advice.

C.S., Bahamas

Dear C.S.,

Evidently you lowered your standard when you married this guy. He is not respectful and trustworthy. And he is still behaving as a child. He is a liar and a liar cannot be trusted.

If you believe this marriage can be saved, you may seek the help of a counsellor when you return to Jamaica. But you will not be condemned by God if you divorce him.

Pastor