What a gwaan massive? Mi say mi cyan tell when last mi sleep! A straight party an oonu done know say mi haffi go di people dem wuk same way. It ruff! Den diss weekend wi at it again! Wha oonu say Fletchers Land massive? Wi a touch di road Friday night fi go Bomb Dem up a Golden Spring, spend couple hours den lef out fi go St. Bess fi Dutty Fridaze. Den wi cyan sleep Saturday cause wi a continue di dancing dung di road a di STAR Teen Jam inna di Amazon club inna Santa Cruz from 12 noon till night! My Gawd! Wha yuh say Kaboom and Pamputtae! Den wi haffi touch di road inna di night again fi roll out inna Mandeville fi watch Rodney an Chi Ching in action dung a Shock Waves! Mi a tell yuh, mi naw sleep till bout Sunday evening! But massive oonu know say some ah oonu nuh easy doh? Nardia yuh sell off, yuh deh a Florida an mek mi know say yuh haffi reach a di next Teen Jam; Barbie how yuh fi ask mi IFFF yuh an yuh artiste can pass tru when she come offa tour? Babes, you are know who you are an who she are be?! STAR to di flippin worl!!! Daggerin Condoms bless up fi joining fi spread di SAFE message ah di Teen party. Link mi pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com.

SOME GYAL NEED A REAL CURE

Yuh know say is like some a dem gyal yah stuck inna looo and a lose dem head doh! How some a dem come out inna media a talk bout she love di artiste so she wouldn't cheat pon him, but den in di same breath she a say there is a 'strong possibility' say the child a fi him? Mi nuh get it. Mi cyan tek dem enuh! Di gangsta go deh, di Gaza thug go deh, di honourable singer go deh; gyal yuh cudden cool till yuh go breed fi di ex-convict eeh? And aftah oonu deh fi five months yuh 4 months pregnant? Yuh cudden wrap it up? Look pon who yuh breed fah! Jus tink bout if dat mek sense fi dagga without plastic wid him! Bout yuh hot and mek money cause yuh a party promotions girl! So how a one nexx ole man a mind yuh inna yuh apartment? An now cause yuh breed fi di DJ yuh haffi start fend fi yuhself an a look somewhe cheaper? A sign yaw man. Stuck inna looo, dat mi say! Ress a woman massive nuh follow ar. If yuh have yuh own an yuh bright, di future a yours fi di taking!

BEENIE AT IT AGAIN

Beenie Man

Beenie aftah yuh get acquitted from dem tax evasion charge deh, mi tink yuh Asylum performance wudda betta! Yuh shudda gih di performance of a lifetime! Yuh come a gih wi two line outta yuh song dem! Den have di audacity fi a call up 60 fresh act wha nuh mek it! If a did so yuh desperate fi call up new people, call up di INK and STAR team man! Wi did ready and roaring inna di VIP section and wi all come up wid di name STARLITES. Stop di foolishness. Imagine, yuh cuddah get di promoter dem inna problem cause some a dem fresh act deh shuddah inna dem bed a sleep! Yuh head normal or wha? An look here Ribby, mi nuh know if a yuh father or wha, but him old an look juss like yuh, and him have crazy viiiiibes! Di man buss some crazy wine deh in di VIP section! Sell off! But look here, him nearly kill mi wid Magnum! So mi tek one and tek a sip an puddung, so him look an see mi hand empty an pass a next one! Lawd! Tek time wid mi!

CHI CHING CHINGGG AND L.A. LEWIS FANDANGLIANCE

Chi Ching - File

Chi Ching Chinggggg! Who exactly yuh be? My Gawd man! Mi nevah know say wi cuddah have a nexx L.A. Lewis! Jah know! Mi feel mi need fi pull a stunt an mek a career outta it too. See it deh, Ching yuh come wid dance wha name 'Cricka' and all it be a one ting wha yuh a do a one jerk an people love it! Yuh hawl up di one-foot woman pon stage an a cricka, it sell off! Yuh come inna money suit and barely a move an buss some rhyme, and it sell off! Mi nuh get it! Mi need a non-job fi buss! Massive, oonu can imagine if him an L.A. Lewis fi team up fi host one show?! Mi backfoot! All when dem pose off wid dem 'fandangleseseseses' as Kaboom wudda say! Mi wudda have heart failure when mi done laugh! As a matter of fact, di nexx STAR Teen Jam a go hosted by di two a dem! Mi haffi see it inna action wid mi sunshade of course! Mi cyan tek so much bling an silver inna one place! Mi nuh bizniz wha oonu waah say, dat muss cause radiation inna mi eye!

Dis week a nuh me waah know, a oonu waah know! Hahaha! Yes di whole a oonu dung a di medical conference oonu big up oonu self! Wha oonu mean how mi hear? What a way oonu a photocopy di suss and a pass roun bout di ex-nurse dung deh eeh? Mi a tell yuh mi buss! Mi buss right out an a run dung di road inna full Puma an cyan come back! Massive up a di ministry oonu big up oonu self too; Hot Gal Cherry say dat! Mi gone!