Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I look forward to seeing how you are helping and advising others. However, I now have my share of problems and I am looking forward to your advice.

Two years ago, I got a nursing job in the Bahamas. I met a guy. He is a supervisor on a construction site, owns his house, boats and several vehicles. He is also very kind to me. At the beginning of the relationship, he was very good. I couldn't have asked for more and I fell in love with him.

Perfect match

Our relationship was like the perfect match. However, a couple months later, he started to show who he really is: a jealous, possessive stalker. His possessiveness started to drive me crazy. When I am going out, he wants to know where. He watches my house and can tell if and when anyone visits me. He started to drive me crazy. But, despite all of this, I love him very much. My mental health was being affected by his ways, however, so I decided to leave him.

UNCONTROLLABLE JEALOUSY

The problem is, we live close to each other and the attraction we have, his jealously aside, is great. we always end getting back together. I know he loves me, but he cannot control his jealousy.

The other thing causing me stress is that I met a guy in Jamaica in 2005. We hardly see each other, but we talk a lot on the phone. He is a teacher in Atlanta. We have decided to get serious with our relationship. This young man is a gem. He is everything a woman needs in a man. He is hard-working, dedicated and very intelligent. I like him very much, but I have more feelings for the one here in the Bahamas.

I am so confused. I know I will not marry the Bahamian. I also know that he loves me very much; but being with him will drive me crazy. I am planning on leaving the Bahamas as a means of getting away from him, but I know deep down in my heart that I will always love him and will not love anyone, not even this Jamaican man, as much.

FOCUSING ON JAMAICAN GUY

If it were not for his jealousy, he would have been the one for me. I am leaving in order to forget him, move on and focus on getting to know the Jamaican guy better. I know he can give me the life I need. But it is with a very sad heart because this man in the Bahamas will always have a piece of me. I really love him.

Do you think I should stay with the man I really love (the Bahamian), and maybe be a prisoner, or go and get the life I need with the Jamaican in Atlanta. Do you think I will love him with a complete heart if I am away from the Bahamas?

Please give me your fatherly advice.

M.P., Bahamas

Dear M.P.,

The Bahamian man is very jealous, and jealous men are insecure. So, this man is suffering from insecurity. And he needs to see a psychologist. Why does he feel he needs to stalk you?

It is because he has no confidence in you. He has wealth and can support you well, but he is a sick man. You may not believe that he is ill, but he is. And you should recognise that and encourage him to seek professional help.

Pastor