Dear Pastor,

Do you think that being a security guard is a bad and dangerous job? My babyfather, who I have been with for about six years, has been working on the farm work programme since we've been together. However, last year, he did not get through to go back, so he has been here without a job.

Stressed out

I have been asking him to go and do a security job because he can read and write properly, but he doesn't have any subjects. Security is the easiest and best paying job to get right now, and he refuses to do it and it is stressing me out badly. I am working but my pay can only pay bills and buy necessary food items and send my child to school. I am now living at his house with his parents. I am a contract worker and my contract lasts for two months. My boss has renewed my contract twice and I don't know when it is going to be the last, so I cannot count on it.

Please advise me what to do because I am seriously thinking about leaving him.

T. L., Jamaica

Dear T. L.,

Your boyfriend, evidently, doesn't like to work as a security officer. Perhaps he feels that he would do better working in a restaurant or hotel.

However, he should learn that a person should be prepared to do any type of work, once it is legal, until he is able to get what he prefers to do. He should understand that you are under stress and he should try his best to do his part in supporting his home.

I can understand why you are tempted to leave him but I must ask you to try your best and be patient with him. I am sure you are not comfortable living at his parents' home. Pastor

But perhaps your child's father feels that all is wellbecause he is not paying rent. You seem to be an ambitious woman and you are not the type of person who is willing to totally rely on a man. He should appreciate that and should try to do his best to get a job. Continue to press him to either seek to get the job as a security worker or to do something else. But I would urge you not to be in a hurry to end this relationship.

Pastor