Dear Pastor,

I reside in the United States. I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. I have been with my boyfriend for five years and we have two children together. The entire period has been very crazy for me. I believe that he doesn't love me as much as I love him. Basically, he is the only child for his mom and he shares everything with her.

As far as the relationship goes, if he and I get into an argument, he runs and tells his mom everything that we argue about, instead of trying to resolve the problem between us. He calls me names and tells me "you are stupid", "you can't do anything because you are stupid" and "I am smarter than you that's why I can't marry you because you, have psychological problems. You need help". He also basically ignores me.

Womaniser

If we do go out, his womanising ways get in the way, and when I say something he insists "Well, I can't help it if there are prettier women than you out there. What do you want me to do, keep my head straight to please you? I am not going to do that for you or anybody else".

It got to the point where I was so embarrassed to go out with him because he embarrass me.

Now I've changed. I don't want him anymore. I have tried to leave him, but he always calls me and says how sorry he is he wants to be with me and that he will love me for life. He has even said he wants to marry me. Pastor, I was good to this man. I have never cheated even though he put me through some crazy times.

Please, tell me what I should do? Should I give this man another chance or should I go on with my life?

J.J., New York, USA

Dear J.J.,

This man is very close to his mother. Don't try to get between them. Don't fight or say anything negative about your boyfriend's mother.

Nothing will remain private between this man and you while his mother is alive. She has strong influence on him and will tell him the type of woman he should marry.

This man does not have respect for you. He is behaving like a playboy. He is a user. If he is serious about the relationship, he should go for counselling. If he refuses, end the relationship.

Pastor