I'm happy that you are here to help people in need of advice. I met you at my cousin's wedding, where you were the officiating minister. I want to compliment you on the tremendous job you have done over the decades.

I'm a 22-year-old mother who has been with my fiancé for almost five years. When I met him, he told me that he had a woman. I however decided to go along with it. He was and still is the nicest person I've had a relationship with. He's 10 years my senior. During our relationship, I was never forced to be reminded about this other woman. It was like she didn't exist - I got all his time. He took me everywhere and he cared a lot about me. He was never afraid to show his affection. He gave me anything I wanted. We were in love.

Other girls

As the years went by, I started to hear about him and other girls. There was no proof that he was indeed running wild, so I stuck around, because I was already in love with this guy. It wasn't so easy to walk away and start something new and besides he was all that I wanted, no one else. He said he loved and cared for me.

The problem I have with him is that whenever he gets angry, he says the meanest things to hurt me. At times he's disrespectful and says degrading things. I'm a victim of verbal abuse. It affects me mentally. Now, his behaviour has me wondering if he is in love with me still or if he only feels sorry for me.

Girlfriend pregnant

When I got pregnant, I thought about aborting the child, but he insisted I keep it, and so I did. During my pregnancy, I did not think there was ever a more supportive person than he was. I came to find out that he got his other girlfriend pregnant as well. We both had our children in the same month. Ever since the baby came into our lives, he has not been the same. He cares only about the baby's well-being and all the love he used to show me has gone. His girlfriend heard about me and we had a fight one day. He takes care of both his children, but as time goes by, I think I am losing him. The arguments have got worse, he comes around when he feels like.

His behaviour only indicates to me that I'm nothing to him anymore, only the child, but why? Where is the love, pastor? Is this a phase he's going through? Will things ever be as good as it once was? Does he still love me?

Please, help me. I await your fatherly advice.

So In Love, California, USA.

Dear So In Love,

You went wrong when this man told you he had a girlfriend and you decided that although she existed, you were going to have an intimate relationship with him. Right from the start you set up yourself to get hurt. It was a long time coming, but it had to come. The guy is a player. He was in a position to give you anything you wanted, but he has never promised that he will settle down with you. So why are you fussing?

Learn this, if you wish to remain in this relationship, it is up to you. His other babymother will always be a thorn in your neck because she was with him first. Thank God he is supporting the child. Now go and get a job and support yourself.

Pastor