Dear Pastor,

I have been married for almost 10 years. I have a daughter but my wife and I don't get along anymore. She just shuts me out and does mean things to me. Our relationship in the past was rocky, but I moved on peacefully with her, but she has stopped washing my clothes and we barely have sex. It's like once every three months. She does not want us to sleep together.

We had a fight because I had noticed she is having intimate relations with other men and at times I feel so bad, yet she gives people the impression that all is well. I stopped giving her money because she is very disrespectful to me and wants me to beg her for sex .

RESENT HER

Now I resent her and don't even refer to her as a wife, but as a babymother. I had to let my mom wash my clothes and cook for me. I can only afford to look after my daughter's needs and the bills. She does not want to spend her money in the home and we both work. It's killing me as I have tuition paying back, car loans and insurance. She keeps her money to spend on herself and as a result I cannot afford to give her money for herself.

She refuses to look after me or to have sex with me. I am fed up with her and wish to move on to some meaningful relationship and leave her and her boyfriend alone.

She always boasts about her boyfriend who is only using her for sex, but I know God will provide for me. I want to pursue my master's degree.

We have gone to counselling, but she insisted she wanted a divorce. Then she changed her mind. I can't live like this. Time is short and I definitely do not love her anymore. My stomach churns while she sleeps out with other men. I am in my late 30s and she is in her early 30s.

I am awaiting your Godly advice.

T. C., St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear T. C.,

You seem to be very certain that your wife is having an affair. Both of you have gone for counselling and nothing has changed. I suggest therefore that you see a lawyer.

Pastor