I am a 22-year-old woman, currently employed to the United States military. I gave birth recently to a child whose father is in his 40s.

We were together for four years. He lives in one state and I live in another, where I am currently stationed for a few more years. I want him to be a part of our child's life. But, how do I do that and still live my life comfortably?

Empty promises

Last year he was supposed to move to the state where I am currently assigned, but he has not yet done so. Throughout my entire pregnancy, he was never there for me. I am tired of his empty promises.

What should I do as far as our child is concerned?

R.B., Virginia, U.S.A.

Dear R.B.,

Most women would like to have the fathers of their children with them in the same family-father, mother, child or children.

The only thing you can hope for is that he supports his child.

But that is not always possible, and it does not seem that it is going to be possible in your situation.

Pastor

The father of your child lives in another state and has not shown any interest in you or his child. Perhaps you may look at him as a sperm donor. The only thing you can hope for is that he supports his child.

Not a family man

Evidently you are aware that he is not a family man, because you question the type of role he would play in your life and the child's life if he were to move to the state where you live.

Frankly, this man is not interested in coming where you are and probably has his own reason. He is twice your age and probably has a stable relationship you do not know of. Therefore, insist that he supports his child and move on with your life.

Pastor