Dear Pastor,

I am a 22-year-old Jamaican woman who has been with a German man for the past five years. He is 28 years old. He is kind and helpful and tries to give me whatever I want. His parents and family love me. His parents help me also. They try to give me what I want and even pay for my schooling. I am taking a course in German. I was living with my mom in Jamaica, but we quarrelled a lot so I decided to move to Germany. I asked my German boyfriend to marry me. We have been married for a year and a half.

Cheating all along

The problem is, for the past five years I have been cheating on him. I have been involved in many different relationships. He knew about this because I would always call and speak with my lovers and he would listen in on the conversations. He quarrels with me and often speaks his mind. Sometimes he doesn't do anything about the situation and lets me have my own way.

Weakness for Jamaican guys

Another problem I have is that I like him, but I do not love him. I don't know why, but I believe the reason is that I have never been serious with our relationship and have always had a weakness for Jamaican guys. My husband however, loves me to death.

I recently met a Jamaican soldier on the Internet and went to Jamaica to meet him. He's 25 years old. We fell in love and have been dating for a few months. He asked me to marry him and has been pressuring me to have his child. I am not ready to have a child as yet.

I am now confused and am afraid to leave my husband. On the other hand, I am so deeply in love with this soldier guy that I want to divorce my husband and marry him.

Pastor, help me. I don't want to make the wrong decision. I am sorry I got married.

L.E., Germany

Dear L.E.,

Your husband and his family are such good persons, which is more than I can say about you. You are a user and a liar. You took advantage of your husband and his family and probably lied to the soldier about your status. I repeat, you are not a good person.

No respect

You knew you were not in love, yet you got married. You have no respect for ypor husband either. Because although you knew he was listening in on your conversations with other men, you continued to have them. Your husband loves you, but he will never trust you. And it is only a matter of time before he tells you that the marriage is over. You have embarrassed your husband.

You might as well give up on this marriage, because you do not love your husband. And you are sorry that you got married. You will continue to cheat on him because you do not love him. Perhaps you married him because you wanted to get permanent status in Germany. You are a sad case.

Folks always say that men fool women. But you fooled your husband, and the poor man is still in love with you. The question is, what are you looking for? You don't want the responsibility of motherhood or of being a wife. All you want to do is fool around with as many men as you can without being held accountable for your actions.

If you don't change your lifestyle, you will crash.

Pastor

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