I am a 21-year-old female who has a serious problem. I have been with my boyfriend for the last three years and we share a child together. For the last nine months, I have not been having any sexual feelings towards him. We've been to the doctor regarding the problem and were advised that we should go on a weekend vacation together, away from the baby, and try to spice up our sex life. We tried that but my feelings haven't changed.

While I was pregnant, he cheated on me. He told me about the affair shortly after our child was born. I was so hurt that I turned to my ex-boyfriend for comfort and ended up having sex with him. I believe it's my guilt that has made me lose interest in my boyfriend sexually.

Pastor, I know he loves me and I love him, and I know he's hurting. Most of the times when he asks me for sex, and I turn him down, he cries. I feel badly for putting him through this. Please help us, and thanks for reading my letter.

Y.T., St Catherine, Jamaica

Dear Y.T.,

I suggest that you make an appointment to see a psychologist. Perhaps guilt is a part of your problem. You have not forgiven yourself for what you did; neither have you forgiven your boyfriend for what he did. And, as a result, it is affecting the relationship. You are not sure about your boyfriend. You are confused and unhappy, and you find it difficult to relate to him. Could it be that you want to end this relationship?

However, let me be frank with you. It is difficult to say why you do not feel like having sex with your man just by reading your letter. A counsellor would have to question you and do a proper analysis concerning your relationship, before arriving at a conclusion.

So, please, make an appointment to see a psychologist early.

Pastor