DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON.

TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8. EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM OR

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Dear Pastor,

I was in a relationship with a guy who is 22. I am 20 years old. I have a child, but he is not the father. We were together for eight months. I became aware that he was seeing another girl younger than me. She is about 18 or 19 years old and not in school. I found out about the relationship one night while we were having sex, as she kept texting and calling his phone. He stopped paying attention to me and seemed to forget I was there. She wanted to see him, so he got up and left, just like that.

I sent him a text the following day to let him know I was ending the relationship. He seemed happy about the situation, and I think he is in love with this other girl. Unfortunately, she saw the text I sent him and based on what I wrote, she forgave him because it's now three months later and they are still together. My dilemma is that I am still not over him.

overnight bag

I was shocked to learn from a friend of mine that she saw the girl at his house one Friday night with an overnight bag. It appeared she was planning on staying the weekend. It made me uneasy to know she was there, so I went to his house, walked around the back to his room and knocked on the window. I heard movements inside and she called out that he would soon be there. I knocked even harder. She got up and looked out the window. She asked who I was and I told her his girlfriend. She said: "Really? I have been his girlfriend for the past five months and it is obvious that I am, because I am inside and you're not." I told her that it would not be so for long. I asked her name and she told it to me. I realised that she was the same girl who had sent him the messages those few months ago. She continued by saying that it was funny I had told her I was his girlfriend as she had never heard or seen any record of me in his phone and that she had his phone with her all the time. She then told me it was best I left and slammed the window shut. I felt so stupid.

Pastor, tell me, don't you think that girl was out of order to slam the window shut in my face? Then again, I do love this guy and I want him back. Should I hurt that girl for being so disrespectful and get my man back? There's a saying that goes "if you don't work for what you want in life you will never achieve it". Should I just give up on the love of my life?

S.M., Jamaica

Dear S.M.,

Let me tell you straight, you should not have gone to this young man's house. You heard that a girl was seen with an overnight bag and the person suspected that she was going to spend the weekend with your former boyfriend. You had no right to go there. You broke up with the young man. It was done, finished. What were you doing there? You made yourself a fool by going there and you are continuing to make yourself a fool by trying to get him back. Keep yourself quiet. Take care of your baby and don't throw around yourself with every man who comes around wearing a trouser.

This young man had this girl while he was fooling around with you. He has chosen her over you. Use your head, settle your nerves. You're only 20 and a mother. Men are not running away, they will always be around. A good one may come your way. If you run after men, you will get hurt. Not all men speak the truth. Most of them are liars.

Pastor