I'm writing in response to one of your columns published on November 25, 2008 entitled: "Where are the morals in our young women?".

Why is it that women are always the ones to get blamed for breaking up a relationship, and not the men?

Some of these married men go around lying to these young girls that they are single, free and disengaged. Some say that they are married but separated from their wives but haven't got a divorce for the sake of the children. I do admit that some women willingly enter into relationships with married men, but not all.

Breaking up marriages

A lot of these men don't wear their wedding bands, so most women don't know that they are involved with a married man until it's too late. Women tend to blame other women for breaking up their marriages or common-law unions; some even go as far as engaging in verbal and physical confrontations with the 'other woman'. I would like to ask these women to stop and think that maybe these girls didn't know that the men were married or involved. Also, consider what the man may have told the other woman about you.

These married/involved women need to remember that it takes a man and a woman to have a relationship, so if you are going to blame the woman for having an affair or getting pregnant for your husband it's only fair that the man should share the blame.

Men tend to get excitement out of watching women fight and curse over them because it makes them feel like 'the big man' and in the end he will end up with one or both of the women.

Morals

So, to the women I say stop and not only ask yourself where the morals in our young women are, but also where are the morals in our young and old men.

K.B., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear K.B.,

Thanks for sharing. Remember that cases differ, therefore every matter has to be dealt with on its own merit. Some married women lie about their status and get involved with other men and the men are unaware that they are married. Yes, some married women play dangerous games to get money.

Some married men hide their marital status and give women the impression that they are not married and sometimes it takes years for the women with whom they are involved to find out. And the women are blamed for getting involved with married men, when in truth they were unaware that these men were married.

Pastor