I often read your column and I take your advice seriously even though I may not be in the situation. This is my problem. I have known a gentleman for over a year. When we met, he had just lost his job. I helped him through the entire period including feeding him and his son and allowing him to live with me. He is the type that any woman would keep as he likes to cook, clean and he is very organised.

She wants him

The problem started when he got a job overseas. He met a cousin of his who is a young lady. From the moment he talked about her, I told him as a friend/cousin, she appeared as if she wanted him to be hers. She is the type who wants to hold his hand in public, rub down his head, cut his toe and fingernails. She gives him whatever he needs and tells him not to ask anyone for anything, he is to come to her. I let it play out one day and we got into an argument. I told them that I did not like their behavior and both of them got angry. I called another relative and explained the situation. Well, the young lady packed her things and went by someone else's home to stay only to find out they are behaving the same there.

What disturbs me is that the girl says she is a Christian. When they went back to the island where he got the job, everyone was questioning their closeness.

Pastor, could you please give me your opinion on this? He and his cousin had an argument because he talked to another woman and she goes crazy when he does.

S. B., Caribbean

Dear S. B.,

You have absolutely no proof that this man is having an affair with his cousin. Perhaps indeed they are very close, but you have not given any reason to prove that they are having an intimate or sexual relationship. Holding hands, cutting nails, etc aren't proof that they are going to bed.

Scandalise

Perhaps you are very jealous and you are reading into the situation what is not there. You have to be very careful not to scandalise a person. It is easier for people to believe lies than truth. Please understand that there is a weapon that is called prayer and God answers prayers. And the bad things that you wish on a person may fall back on you.

Pastor