I have a problem that is driving me crazy. I want a man to care for me and to love me for me. But every time I find one that seems to be nice, it only lasts for a week or two. Don't get me wrong, I pray and ask God to find me a good man.

I have a nice guy who is my friend. He works close to me. We talk on the phone every day and he comes to see me too. He tells me that he is in love with me, but he has a girlfriend. I don't know what to do. I need help because I don't know if I like him or if I love him. He talks to my mother on the phone every day. He is so nice, but maybe it is because we haven't had sex as yet. I just don't know. I need love and lots of it.

Pastor, please tell me what to do.

N. C., St Mary, Jamaica

Dear N. C.,

I rather doubt that you grew up with a father figure. You seem to be someone who is in her late teens and you never truly had anybody in your life who has shown you affection. Guys have used you. You are equating sex for love and these guys came in your life, had sex with you and when they had captured you as a lion captures a prey, they have moved on because what they wanted was sex. After they have gone, you felt empty and disappointed.

Intimate relationship

Now this young man who is very nice and who talks to you every day has become your friend. I don't consider him a good guy because his girlfriend is a schoolgirl. He is employed, so he is an adult. He shouldn't be having an intimate relationship with a girl who is in grade 10.

May I suggest that you consider him your social friend, but don't go further. In fact, what you need to do is to continue to trust the Lord and to ask Him to lead you every day of your life and help you to make good decisions. Go to church and try and go back to school and further your education. Guys will always come your way and most of them will be only interested in having sex with you. Learn to say no. The Good Lord will provide a husband for you in His own time if you trust Him.

Pastor