Dear Pastor,
I have been dating this guy for the last seven months. He told me he has been with many girls. I found this out to be true as his phone would ring at wee hours of the morning when we are together. I visit his home when we want quiet time, as we both work long hours during the day and even at nights. Sometimes, I don't trust him. At other times, I try my best not to accuse him of cheating. I, too, have had my own share of accusations from a previous relationship which led me to actually cheat.
I care a lot for my current guy but I just don't know if he is faithful. He drops hints that he wants to marry me someday. What do I do?
Concerned, N.P., Kingston
Dear Concerned,
For one, this guy told you that he has been with many women. He hasn't said he is not seeing any of them anymore. He hasn't assured you that he has given up that type of lifestyle. He loves his women and they call him at wee hours of the morning. You are just one of his women. He has not made up his mind with whom he would settle. I would say that you would be fortunate if he chooses you. Even if he does, you don't have any assurance that he has changed.
What about you? You have had your problems with men too. You have not been faithful to one man, so when you are pointing your finger on your man, remember that the other fingers are pointing back at you. Therefore, I suggest both of you should be open with each other and try not to behave as if you are saints because, clearly, neither of you are. Tell him how you feel about the relationship and see how he feels and move on from there.
Pastor