I wrote you a letter which you published. I must say, you were very harsh with me and I don't think I deserve some of your criticism. The letter was titled 'Dating a Psychopath.' First of all I don't go around sleeping with guys and it wasn't as if I had only just met the guy and right away went to bed with him. We have been friends for over a year; we talked on the phone quite often and spent time together quite often too. So you see, I didn't see the problem with going to bed with him because he wasn't a stranger to me and I felt we had a connection.

If you do not mind, can you please tell me when is the right time to have sex with someone, bearing in mind that we have known each other for over a year? I had sex with him after two weeks of dating and in your mind that might have been too soon but not for me. I was happy that I did it because I found out fairly quickly what he was not showing me when we were just friends. It is funny that you are telling me that I am going around sleeping with Tom, Dick and Harry, when I just mentioned one guy. How did you arrive at that conclusion? I admit that I let him talk me into dating him but he grew on me and I figured that I could give him a shot because he seemed as if he really cared for me as he pursued me non-stop.

State of depression

It would have been easy for you to put me in a state of depression but I know that I am a good girl, even though at times I may use bad judgement and take risks that do not work out. I respect your opinion but do not respect the fact that you are basically calling me a whore. You do not know my entire background when it comes on to men.

Trust me when I say that dating this guy makes me look at life in a different light. It has shown me that I should never judge a book by its cover and I would not make that mistake again. This is a working-class man; he has a good job, drives a nice car and seems very intelligent, so I would never have guessed that he was like that.

I thank you for the good work that you are doing and I will continue to be a fan.

L.B., Hartford, Connecticut

Dear L.B.,

I did not call you a whore. I answered your letter on its merit. You provided me information and I responded accordingly. You may disagree with me, but the day may come when you may look back and say that I was right. If that day never comes, then I am sure that I would have helped others.

Although you say that you knew this man for over a year, you went to bed with him two weeks after you started dating him. That was not a wise thing to do. A counsellor is not to say what a counsel wants him/her to hear. He/she is to speak the truth and sometimes it hurts.

Pastor